Forgive my whining. Indulge me for a moment. It's my job to tell new freelance writers how it is, and this is how it is lately: I'm lonely!
Two things happened in this last year that have made my freelance writing business a bit more lonely than usual.
1) My son went to first grade, which means full days in school. When I first got into freelance writing, I was part of a large contingent of stay-at-home moms who wanted to be available to their kids, but still exercise our skills. I'd left an editorial job in higher education, took my youngest out of full-time child care, and freelanced at home on days when he was at preschool classes, and in the evenings with everyone around. Now, no one is around from 9a-3p every day!
2) I dramatically narrowed my freelance writing focus, concentrating on editorial for publishers and writing for magazines. I now turn down most local jobs, as I've found that they're just not as profitable as virtual jobs. Once I drove to and from meetings, interviews and etc., my hourly rate was halved. So I now have no more local meetings.
Yes, I'm able to focus on my writing and editing 6 hours per day, 5 days per week. This has been a boon for my business. My year-end numbers make me QUITE happy. But, this past month, I've noticed that I am just missing human interaction!
I know I"m not alone in this. What do other veteran writers do? Are you on Twitter more often (follow me! http://twitter.com/AllenaT)? Do you work at the coffee shops? Library? Take on local clients?
What do you mean “editorial for publishers”? I’m not versed in all the lingo yet.
I was just recently able to begin devoting full time to my writing, so I’m not a veteran. However, after four months of total solitude (minus canine companions), I’ve found some things that seem to work for me. When I start to feel stir crazy, I go write somewhere publicly–coffee shop usually. I join other local writers for lunch ‘meetings’ once a week and do most of my other business in person. What I mean by that, is if I need to pay a bill, I’ll go to the place directly. That sounds ridiculous, but after coming from a full time 9-5, a few hours a week doing stuff outside of the house in a business atmosphere, is something of a relief from all of the peace and silence. I know what you mean by lonely–you take for granted the small time personal interactions you had before going freelance.
I am moonlighting as freelance content writer and this year I took this route seriously. It means I have clients and accept works with demanding deadlines. It is indeed very rewarding for a novice freelance writer.
As you said, it is a lonely occupation. I never thought of it actually until I consider my writing as an opportunity to earn extra income. Since I have a fulltime job, I wrap up my writing gigs on weekends. So I rarely have social activities nowadays.
I don’t notice it, but then again, I don’t mind solitude. I actually require it for my most productive moments.
My wife, on the other hand, can’t function without talking to another human being every 10-15 minutes. I am completely content to go an entire day without even speaking to another soul, and I’ve actually gone weeks without speaking to another soul besides my wife and the people at the grocery store. Now, get me in a social setting and I’ll yap your ear off (even worse if I’m drinking a good bottle of wine), but I don’t miss interaction, not in the least.
Depends on the person. I’m socially phenomenal, in any engagement, but I don’t require it for personal satisfaction. My wife jokes around with me sometimes about how I could probably live an entire year without any verbal communication with another human being, but she’s not incorrect. I’m more than happy with e-mails and forums. Let me immerse myself in the words and I’m more than happy.
I agree that writing can be a very lonely job. I like one of the other comments suggesting you pay your bills in person rather than mailing them in – that’s a great way to build in more out-of-the-house time. I actually rent office space once a week from a fellow professional and that has been great for getting out and having someone to talk to. I also work at a local bookstore once or twice a week if I’m feeling a little crazy. You really have to work to get out sometimes – I think half the battle is knowing when you need to be around people and allowing yourself to do that.
I’ve been freelancing as a writer for 12 years now, and have made writing my primary income source. I use my “free time” for my personal creative writing (fiction and creative non-fiction), so I’m spending the bulk of my week doing what I love most. In my first year, I learned to pace myself, and that included scheduling time with family, friends, and professional networking. I discovered that if I kept to my schedule, I didn’t feel lonely at all–if anything, quite the opposite. Loneliness sets in for me when I am bored, so I make certain that the projects I tackle will challenge my skills and imagination.
If you feel lonely, get up, get out, and talk to somebody until the feeling passes, and then get back to writing. Trust me, it works every time.
Feeling lonely dear writers?
1. Attend a PRSA or IABC event. Here you can network and perhaps learn a new skill or two.
2. Attend your local Chamber of Commerce meeting and market your services as if your life depends on it. Because it does.
3. Offer to be a guest speaker at a local college marketing class.
4. Take your laptop to the library or to Borders … my favorite. ; )
5. Get on the phone with your qualified list and sell your services. Meet in person to share your portfolio.
6. Plan your favorite workout activity for early morning before you start your day. Refreshing and energizing.
7. Call the creative director at ad & PR agencies and tell them what you do.
8. Meet a colleague for lunch and share strategies & tactics.
9. Launch your social media marketing campaign. Contact old buddies from high school & college and tell them what your up to. You’d be surprised how well this works. I suggest soft selling former classmates.
10. I insist on in-person interviews for articles when possible & appropriate.
11. Take a break & do something for you! I play guitar & keys in a band once a week. It’s a great way to unwind and socialize with a few of my buddies.
No time for lonliness!
Loneliness is kicking in big on me right now. I am a very social person, and I like going to parties and hitting the clubs. I would like to blogg or write about what’s happening in the very hip town that I live. So right now, I can tell you that I gave up a great Christmas party to stay home and write. I do know that to be in love with writing, YA GOTTA WRITE!
It’s no accident most writers are introverts. I’m a lot like T. W. Anderson. When I’m working, I want people to get out of my way and let me do my job. While I can work in a team enviroment, I prefer working alone. Extreme extroverts (the kind that talk forever without coming up for air) make me uncomfortable. Even in a crowd I tend to stick to myself.
I do get social interaction through my religion and may chat with a store clerk. I will talk with friends, but unless I’m writing I run out of steam after a while.
Two places I can’t avoid are libraries and bookstores. They are like powerful magnets drawing me in. It must be because of my incurable bookworm disease.
I spearheaded a local women’s business group that sprung out of an annual conference I helped to organize. We realized that so many of us were “hermits” and needed to get out of the house for some social interaction and networking. We meet every month (alternating between breakfast and lunch) and it’s great b/c there’s no fee, no pressure, no guilt. If you can make it, great! If not, we hope to see you next month. We try to frequent local, independent eateries to help support other local/small businesses. Sometimes we have a speaker, sometimes not and we just sit around and catch up. It works for me!
I get so lonely I get depressed, so I have learned to keep the radio on a low buzz so I have background noise. My husband works within walking distance of our home, so he comes home for lunch most of the time, which gives me a chance for some human interaction. Then, after I pick my kids up from school, I have human interaction until after everyone goes to bed. It is absolutely impossible for me to work with them awake and moving around, so I work late a lot, which gets on my husband’s nerves. So, I enjoy the fact that the solitude during the business/school day allow me to work, yet sometimes it overwhelms me just thinking about how much time I spend alone. I am still working on disciplining myself not to get distracted and then once I finally get on track finding myself stuck in the middle of family time, having to prepare dinner and check homework and send kids for baths. I have decided next year I am going to start walking every day, even if it’s just around our little culdesac. I also need to go to the library more and I thought about going to the bookstore more just to see what they’re like these days.
face it: solitude is FOOD for your artistic processes and perspectives. the fact that we CAN spend long periods only with our selves and our internal dialogue BUILDS is as writers.
maybe take the time to download “Solitude Standing” by Suzanne Vega from the late eighties. take the time to just be, and feel how good it is to just be alone and enjoy being you. (i bet it’s not THAT bad.)
Some writers are introverts, and consequently may not see loneliness as a problem. Others, like me, are much more social, and the isolation can become a challenge. However, there’s no better way to really focus on your writing and be productive than to be totally alone. I personally like to hit coffee shops when I can to work, but invariably I end up talking to people and watching what’s going on, etc., and am not quite as productive as when I’m sequestered away at home (or at a library). Writing for a living can be a dream job, but loneliness is a big challenge for many writers.
Great topic. I normally like the alone time because I haven’t really had that in regards to being away from the children for long enough periods of time. Now, what I’ve found is that I’m lonely for fun. Adult activities and interaction. Fun outside of the home. I’ve been doing this 15 years and I guess I am still loving being alone, but realize that my entire life doesn’t have to be done alone. Does that make sense?
Maybe, if there’s someone in your same situation, then they could add back in some of those business activities. Like, I miss going to media events and on travel writing trips. It seems like I was either doing too much of that without enough opportunity for business building and the actual writing or too much in the other direction.
It’s a fine balance.
I have been freelancing for one client for almost four years, and the loneliness is beginning to get to me in the worst possible way. Sadly, my client and all the people I have to interview are on the other side of the country, so I never get to speak to anyone face to face, much as I would like to. Going to the supermarket is often the highlight of my day.
The nature of my work doesn’t lend itself to hanging out in coffee shops or libraries, so I’m often stuck at home. The one thing that has helped my morale is the volunteer work that I do in the community (and in a field totally unrelated to my job). Being with living, breathing people and talking about real-world local issues keeps me sane and counteracts the highly abstract and disconnected feeling that I get from my freelance work.